


On Safety and Worth and Birthdays

by betheflame



Series: POTS Server Stocking Fills 2019 [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Birthday Party, Fluff and Angst, Lonely Steve Rogers, M/M, Pre-Slash, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22452895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/pseuds/betheflame
Summary: While Captain America's birthday is July 4, Steve Rogers' is October 3.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: POTS Server Stocking Fills 2019 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569040
Comments: 23
Kudos: 200
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019, Steve's Birthday Party (PotsCast), Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	On Safety and Worth and Birthdays

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ABrighterDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABrighterDarkness/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [ABrighterDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABrighterDarkness/pseuds/ABrighterDarkness) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:** * "Do you know the last time I actually felt safe, like I do here? Do you? Truth is? Never."  
> Darkness! I hope you love this. Merry Happy! 
> 
> ______  
> TSB Info:  
> Card: 3017  
> Square: S3: "Intimacy Without Sex"  
> 

Everything was too quiet in the tower for Steve. He’d grown up in the cacophony of Brooklyn, then spent his adulthood sleeping amidst piles of humans of various levels of hygiene who were grabbing sleep wherever they could get it. His apartments in Brooklyn and D.C. had thin walls - even if the people (he now knew) on either side were government agents, they were humans who made noise.

But now? Life in Avengers Tower was usually silent. At least on his floor.

Which is why he tried his best to never _be_ on his floor.

Sure, it had gotten better since Bucky came home, but he was back and forth to Wakanda so much that it still felt like Steve lived more often with the idea of Bucky than the man himself. He hadn’t been quite as lonely before they found Buck - perhaps it was his focus on finding his childhood best friend that kept him company.

And now?

Now there was no mission.

Now there was nothing to focus on.

Except the one thing he refused to focus on - which was that he was ass backwards in love with the world’s most eligible bachelor.

So Steve wandered the tower at all hours of the night. It wasn’t insomnia, per se, because he only really needed three hours of sleep per 24 hours with the serum, but it was … something. He had to quiet the itchiness he felt in his own skin and wandering seemed to do it.

If he always ended up where Tony was, he just told himself he gravitated towards the most noise.

It wasn’t that he craved Tony, it was that he didn’t like silence.

Yes.

That was it.

Which is how he found himself in his spot on Tony’s workshop couch, watching the genius out of the corner of one eye and listening to the constant soundtrack of Tony’s chatter with both Jarvis and the bots, as well as whatever god awful racket Tony called music pumping through the sound system.

Steve had wandered down around 9pm, armed with snacks, as Tony hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and a new bottle of WD-40 for DUM-E since the last had gotten spilled in some sort of incident Steve didn’t ask too many questions about.

“Sir,” Jarvis’ voice sounded at full volume for the first time in hours. “It is 12:01 am.”

“Thanks, J,” Tony grinned and clapped his hands. “Boys, just like we practiced.”

Suddenly, Steve was being approached by three robots and a human, all wearing birthday hats, proffering cake, and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ and Steve was frozen in place.

When the song was over, he scraped out a question over vocal chords clogged with un-shed tears.

“How did you know?”

Tony smiled. “Dad’s files. Make a wish, Steve.”

 _I wish for him_. Steve blew the candles out in one breath and then hastily wiped his eyes. Thankfully, just like he always did, Tony filled the silence.

“I thought for a long time you didn’t tell anyone because you wanted it to be a secret, then I thought maybe you wanted to just celebrate it with One Armed Wonder, and then I ran out of wonderings and realized that you probably just thought it was perfectly okay that history has ignored Steve Rogers’ birthday and only celebrated Captain America’s. So I decided to fix that.”

“I really thought no one knew,” Steve whispered.

“And I spent my childhood wondering why October 3 was such a weird day for Howard,” Tony smiled and collapsed next to Steve on the couch. “Here, I got you something.”

Steve glanced sideways at the offered, poorly wrapped package.

“DUM-E wrapped it.”

“Sure, Tony,” Steve smiled and tore back crumpled paper to reveal a leather-bound sketch book, with precisely the weight of paper that Steve preferred, with his shield and a paintbrush stamped on the outside. He looked at Tony in wordless question.

“You like it?”

“I love it, Tony,” Steve replied, “but where did you get it?”

“Oh, I made it.”

“Of course you did,” Steve laughed. “Thank you.”

Tony waved it off and Steve grabbed his hand in midair.

“No, sit there and accept my thanks,” Steve said, in his Captain America tone. “This is… this is too much.”

“No, Steven,” Tony’s eyes were tender and full of something Steve couldn’t quite place. “It’s never gonna be enough.”

Steve’s breath caught and he slipped his fingers through Tony’s. “Do you know,” he gave in to the tears and they began to roll down his face, “the last time that I - Steve and not Cap - that I felt safe anywhere? That I felt valued or wanted or… worthy? Do you? It’s never. Not since the serum, or before, honestly. I mean, I was loved - and I loved Ma and Buck, and they were home then and I'm not making any sense. But it wasn't the way it is now. Not this way, never this way. Not before. You gave me a home, Tony, and now you keep giving me… This is too much.”

“The thing about being worthy, Steve,” Tony scooted slightly closer on the couch and waved the bots away, “is that you don’t get to determine it. All the rest of us do. And from your ma, to Bucking Bronco, to Erskine and Howard, all the way through to us, here, now - Steven Grant Rogers has always been worthy.”

“I bet I still can’t lift the hammer,” Steve cracked, desperate to cut the emotion in the room.

“Oh, I know you can,” Tony whispered, doubling down on the intimacy that had been created around them and sending Steve into a slight panic. “Because the last time I felt as safe as I do when you’re around? Never. My answer is never. But now? Even when I’m scared out of my mind that this was too big, that this was one of those times where I overstepped -”

Steve cut him off by placing his finger on Tony’s lips. “Not too big.”

Tony nodded and cleared his throat. “Well, then happy birthday, Steven.”

“Thanks, Anthony,” Steve smiled. “Thanks.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/betheflame1) or [Tumblr](http://betheflame.tumblr.com) for more on these yahoos. You can also submit prompts and cajole me into writing faster - it usually works. If you're on Discord, I'm definitely there, too, and probably hanging in the [Stony](https://discord.gg/z5WSqbS) or [Stuckony](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) servers.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] On Safety and Worth and Birthdays](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134073) by [Cathalinareads (Cathalinaheart)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cathalinaheart/pseuds/Cathalinareads)




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